She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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