So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night