Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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