Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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