oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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