So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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