this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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