You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
