I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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