Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
