i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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