I just made out with a guy for $7.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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