I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just found a bag of teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize