If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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