The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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