Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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