he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Randomize
