Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize