I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
