I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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