...so i touched it.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
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