I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
