apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
