that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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