we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
