she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
