This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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