I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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