you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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