I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
we're making bets on your personal life
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
