kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
