I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
