Small penises have feelings too.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
