I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
