Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
