Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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