oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
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we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
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The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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