Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
