You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dignity is for republicans.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
