this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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