Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
