there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
