So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
