Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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