exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
