You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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