____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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