so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
