she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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