I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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