well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
