'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
