You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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