hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
