That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
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This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
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Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think your dad took our porno
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Randomize
