i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
