This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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