thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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