So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
