so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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