In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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