Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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