So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
vagina is talking i cant
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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